Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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