is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
