You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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