It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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