As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
