i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
