You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
