You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
