That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize