Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
