FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
