im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
FUCK WHALES
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