I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
