So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
