That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
