the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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