i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
