Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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