He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
