There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
