yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize