Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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