member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
