would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
