just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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