he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
