All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
