She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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