Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
