You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
