she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize