slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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