how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
