then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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