is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
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