this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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