when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think my vagina is haunted
well you can't waste a boner
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
