She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
