I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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