Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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