I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
