She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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