if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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