I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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