maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
