You just made me feel so damn special
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
