Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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