If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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