guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
