Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
