Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
