So drunk its hurt
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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