If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
