so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Panties = found
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