You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
