so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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