he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
