the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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