the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize