This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
