I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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