She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
