Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
