What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
