he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
