Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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